Not taking it personal

[Disclaimer: This post is NOT directed at any one individual, rather a reflection on my internal battles and my interactions with people in general.]
One of the things I’m struggling with as I reemerge from the hole I was hiding in is to not take things personally.
I don’t have the energy to take on anyone else’s shit. I barely have the energy for my own shit right now.
I cannot make their attitude and their shit my problem/fault to fix. I cannot fix it.
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
I cannot fix it.
I do not have any control over their attitude or actions or words and it may or may not actually be directed at me. I might just be the bystander that gets sideswiped. I have no way of knowing if it’s personal unless they tell me directly. It’s not possible to figure out intent based on tone or other non-verbal actions.
I don’t know what’s going on with them and they (most likely) don’t have a flying fuck of a clue what’s going on with me either beyond the surface.
And unless they say directly it is me they have a problem with or that I’ve pissed them off, there’s nothing I can or should do.
I cannot fix it.
I have to remember to not take on their shit, to not try and fix it, to not take care of everyone else (or put myself last) and worry about what everyone else thinks or feels. You’d think I would have learned my lesson by now. Ha!
It won’t matter what I say or do if they’re not open to hearing or seeing anything from me. I cannot fix it unless they want it fixed and it’s not my job to fix it anyway, only to help if asked.
I cannot fix it.
::deep breaths::
Let it go. Don’t take it personally.
I cannot fix it.

About slmcdanold

I’m learning to laugh at myself on a daily basis. I’m a librarian (cataloger) and I love it. My job involves all things metadata related in any and all formats. I have been known to cause a ruckus when necessary (aka troublesome cataloger) and make no apologies for it. I have a passion for continuing education and teaching. I’m a newbie coder (still learning). I like to cook. I’m a fan of rugby (go Australian Wallabies!) and ice hockey (go Detroit Red Wings!). I’m car-free and bike/walk a lot. I’m learning to love running one stride at a time. I own (and love) a very mouthy cat with a punk attitude and a slightly neurotic rescue mutt.
This entry was posted in depression. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Not taking it personal

  1. Pingback: Death – Belgian Ecclesia Brussel – Leuven

  2. Pingback: Death – Belgian Ecclesia Brussel – Leuven

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s