My life is in flux right now. Lots of changes in pretty much every aspect of my life. And all change requires adjustment. There are lots of little ones, but there are three major ones that eclipse the little things.
Change #1: I’m trying to move. This should ultimately be a good change. But I’ll have to weather moving (a pain even under the best of circumstances and planning), finding new routes for my commute, errands, etc., a new neighborhood, new area for dog walking, etc. So any move, even within the same city, results in a multitude of changes to routines. And I am a creature of habit who likes to be in control of her immediate world (routine = good), so changes to routines are not my favorite thing. Nor are they my dog’s favorite thing. Dogs do best if there is structure and routine in their life, so any move also unsettles Aussie and causes some acting out on her part, which I really don’t need more of these days (the recent chocolate incident was enough, thankyouverymuch).
Change #2: I have new staff. I’m in the middle of hiring an intern. And I had another staff person added to my unit. They started this past Monday. So that means new workflows, processes, and lots of time training. Don’t get me wrong, I NEED these staff and am happy to have them, but it’s still a big change to go from managing one person to three in a matter of a couple of weeks, especially when two of them need training.
Change #3: A reorganization at work. This is really major. Like huge. Sometime in the next 3 months I’m going to have a new boss. And while it’s known I’m getting a new boss and that multiple departments/units are being combined into a new department, that’s about the extent of what we know. The new organizational structure is yet to be determined. The new workflows are yet to be determined. Pretty much everything, including the name of the new department(s), is yet to be determined. And there will be more changes in the fall after this phase is complete. For now I’m trying my best to reserve judgment about the end result. I’m trying my best to just go with the flow.
I have now reached my threshold for accepting, processing, dealing with, and managing change effectively, gracefully and with any degree of maturity. I can’t add any more change, and frankly, there’s not much in my life left to undergo a change. And the really big changes were not initiated by me, and are not necessarily things that I want or don’t want. But they’re happening anyway. No one asked me, I’ve only been informed once the decision to make the change has been made. When it’s change you’re initiating, it’s one thing. But when change is happening to you, as opposed to with you, it’s another thing entirely. I end up feeling I’m just along for the ride whether I like it or not so hang on and say a prayer it all ends well.
I’ve also reached the conclusion that the universe is in the middle of using all this change to teach me another life lesson. This one could be titled “going with the flow, advanced studies.” Because going with the flow is not something I do willingly or often very well/gracefully. And it’s teaching it in the most drawn out, painful and intense way possible. Because there’s not much else I can do with all this change at the moment besides play the “wait and see” game. I don’t know how it’s all going to turn out. I can’t predict the ending. So I’m having to just go with the flow. This is so not my idea of a good time. Not. At. All.
It’s going to be an interesting summer.
Troublesome Mind 