Two cups of coffee today, please

I did not sleep well last night. First, I had a hard time falling asleep. Just one of those nights where I couldn’t get comfortable. It took a long time for me to relax. I know I was still awake past midnight. I had just fallen asleep and was still in that early “light-sleep” stage when the phone rang.

The phone ringing in the middle of the night means one of two things in my world:
1. My parents are calling from Australia and counted the change in hours the wrong way. Although, in all honesty, this hasn’t happened for years. When they first moved there we were always calling each other in the middle of the night because we had calculated the time difference wrong. Now that they’ve been there for 10 years we pretty much have gotten in down.

2. Something bad has happened. Seriously, when do you get middle of the night calls that are good things?! The phone ringing in the middle of the night usually means someone is either dead or really sick or there’s an emergency of some kind.

So when the phone rang at 1:40am last night, I went flying out of bed to answer it. Adrenaline kicked in, the whole nine yards. And since I was half awake and didn’t have my glasses on, I couldn’t really read the caller ID. I just picked up the phone and answered.

Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello? Hello?
Me: HELLO.
Caller: Who is this?
Me: Um, you’re the one calling me. Who were you calling? Who are you?
Caller: Well, it’s a perfectly natural question to ask who I’m talking to. So to who am I speaking?
Me: Dude, it’s ONE F**KING FORTY in the morning. What do you want?
Caller: Well, if you’re going to be like that… [with the gall to sound all offended that I was pissed that he woke me up in the middle of the night for no good reason]

And he hangs up. Dude, are you friggin’ kidding me?!? You MOFO!

Naturally, it took me a good amount of time to calm down and have the adrenaline rush leave my system so I could fall back asleep.

It’s so going to be a two cup of coffee day. Maybe even three.