a R.S.V.P. conundrum

The person I’ve been friends with the longest is getting married this summer. HF (soon to be HL?) and I have known each other since we were three years old. Our mothers share similar parenting philosophies regarding food and TV watching, so we spent a lot of time together. Somehow we’ve managed to stay in contact through my many moves with my family, both of us in college and grad school, she in med school (PhD/MD program!!), and both of us moving several times since college and grad school. I have letters in a box dating back to when we were around 8 years old. I met her fiance (JL) a couple of years ago when they made a trip to the city I was in then. It’s amazing how with some people it’s like time never passes. We just pick up where we left off as if nothing happened in between (minus some catching up of course). She’s just one of those people and I can’t imagine us not being friends.

So she and JL are getting married this summer. I’m so very excited and happy for her and him both! They are an adorable couple and balance each other beautifully (and he helps her lighten up). But wedding invitations present an issue for a single person. How do you R.S.V.P.? I have two options, neither of which is without problems or potential problems.

Option one: R.S.V.P. for one. I’m single. This makes sense. But for weddings you have to reply over a month in advance. This is where the problem sets in. What if I start dating someone and I want to bring them? Do I call and add a second person to my party attending? And then there’s the “single person at a wedding” problem. If it is just me, and I don’t really know anyone besides the bride and groom and the bride’s family, it could make for a very long evening. But, conversely, HF and JL met at a wedding, so who knows, being there alone could work in my favor. Or I could feel entirely out of place. But I’m capable of talking to just about anyone and having a good time no matter what, so it could be OK. Sigh…flip…flop…flip…flop…there is no answer and I won’t know until I’m there. But that security of having someone with me that I know to talk to is very appealing because then I wouldn’t have the “single person at a wedding” problem to deal with.

Which brings me to option two: R.S.V.P. for two. This means I have the pressure of finding someone to go with me. Granted, this could be a friend (I’ve done this in the past) or it could be an actual date. But it’s still pressure to find someone. And what happens if I don’t find someone, friend or otherwise, to go with me? I’d have to call and say “sorry, it’s just me now” which I’d just rather not have to think about doing.

Sigh…I have a few weeks before I have to mail the R.S.V.P. card, and I’m sure I’ll be weighing my two options right up until I put it in the mail. Sometimes being single is a real pain in the butt.


About slmcdanold

I’m learning to laugh at myself on a daily basis. I’m a librarian (cataloger) and I love it. My job involves all things metadata related in any and all formats. I have been known to cause a ruckus when necessary (aka troublesome cataloger) and make no apologies for it. I have a passion for continuing education and teaching. I’m a newbie coder (still learning). I like to cook. I’m a fan of rugby (go Australian Wallabies!) and ice hockey (go Detroit Red Wings!). I’m car-free and bike/walk a lot. I’m learning to love running one stride at a time. I own (and love) a very mouthy cat with a punk attitude and a slightly neurotic rescue mutt.
This entry was posted in dating, friendship, life, wedding. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to a R.S.V.P. conundrum

  1. katia says:

    RSVP for one. Go, have a good time and don’t worry about anything. Even if you start dating someone in the meantime, you may not want to bring them to the wedding as sometimes that’s just “too much pressure”. And hey, isn’t there some high probability that you may meet someone AT the wedding?

  2. Shana says:

    I know and that’s what my plan is. I was just lamenting having to even MAKE the decision.And for the record here people, I am NOT “trolling” for a date…just complaining about a common frustration that comes with being single. 🙂

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